When my children were toddlers and they cried I would kiss their hurts and sometimes put on a Band-Aid. If that didn’t work I would try apple juice or a snack. And if that didn’t work either, I would decide that they were tired and put them to sleep. Again I was solving their problems which was what I thought a good mother should do.
When they got big enough to go to school and they cried I would ask them what was wrong. If they told me I would try to find a solution for their tears. Somewhere between first grade and high school I learned that they needed to learn to solve their problems on their own. Now they are all grown up, some with children, and I am still struggling with learning to let go.